A New Year, a new you? Knowing the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries is important to having a happy and healthy life. Good, healthy relationships work wonders for your confidence helping you grow and develop. Do you have someone stepping over your boundaries? It could be a friend who’s just that bit to over bearing or a boss or a parent that’s very critical and you can’t seem to do anything right.
Do you have your boundaries in place?
I know how important it is to establish good boundaries especially from a counselors perspective. From my own personal experience this is an important part of my every day life. I am often reminded by others just how important these boundaries are and how some people live with very few in place.
I have listed a few that enable me to feel confident, empowered and at peace with myself. I do have a firm belief that we are all just as important and amazing as the next guy and that we need to ensure theses boundaries are part of our every day lives.
• Walk away from people who do not show respect for your feelings and opinions.
• Listen to your intuition (you know, that little inner voice) honour your values and beliefs.
• Clearly understand the difference between thoughtful, kind feedback and manipulation by others.
• Do whatever it takes to create your own interests for yourself.
• Learn to feel “whole and complete” on your own – not depending on others.
• You, and only you, are responsible for how your life is now and how it will be in the future. Learn to voice your needs
• Face Your Stuff — even if it’s difficult. Don’t turn your head the other way.
• Ask for help, don’t be afraid. Everyone needs to talk.
• Take responsibility for your own actions not other peoples. Live in your truth and never take responsibility for other peoples feelings.
• Reward others only when they are kind and appreciative toward you and never take responsibility for other peoples feelings.
Be assertive, if you feel that someone is ignoring your boundaries, you must speak up. It’s important to know the difference. Remember other people’s boundaries are just as important as yours, even if they are different than yours.
Most of all like yourself because you need to learn to love yourself. Re-assess your wardrobe, try a new style, be bold and occasionally blow yourself a kiss in the mirror. You will notice the difference. It works for me!
Author Kathryn May – Counselor